Late night basket ball in our p.js is a favorite memory I like to pull up when I’m thinking about my Dad. The reason I could win an essay contest on why I have the Best Dad is because he always seemed to make my “things” his “things.” In return, I soaked up everything he was interested in. Like every father, my Dad is not perfect. His way of showing me love ( being interested in me) made that imperfect part more bearable as a child. Also my Dad made certain I knew a couple of things and he reinterated them frequently. 1. I could always call him if I needed help and he would come. 2. He would always be on my side, he believed in me.
My Dad hung out with me, talked with my friends, looked the boys I dated in the eye and made sure to talk with them.(sometimes privately). I didn’t have a simple curfew. No way! The time I had to be home was the time the event I was attending was over. This did not leave any room for “ just hanging out” with boys. That was only allowed in my living room with the rest of my family in attendance. Also, he was always waiting for me when I returned at night. No slipping inside quick to my room. I had to greet the man I loved and respected most, at the door after every date. This consistency effected my behavior with boys tremendously.
The key ingredient in my relationship with my Dad, even today, is deeper than communication. Bottom line..... he likes me and he has shown that since I was a little girl.
My purpose in sharing my own Father with you is in hopes that you will remember how your own Dad or other male influence in your life has invested in you. Fathers have a huge job and frankly I get down right mad when I see or hear the role of a father being undermined. T.V. rarely holds “the man of the house” in high respect, but rather portrays him incapable and foolish. The role to lead a family strongly is of upmost importance for the health of our society. It would be amazing to watch the outcome if wives and children began to really honor the men in their house. Building the men up in our life will only make them stronger. And who in the world doesn’t want a strong man on their side?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
My latest article in the Island Moon ( island newspaper)
Celebrating Us
A Bad Start
“Oow ” I blurt out, as tears seep out uncontrollably. We were in the very beginning seconds of our Carribean get away/ 10 year anniversary trip , and I have whacked my head while not quite ducking into our taxi. Ugh, gosh that really hurt I stammer as I try to will the fog out of my head. My husband squeezes my hand and looks at me pitifully. You see the head whacking thing is a constant in our travels. To be honest it’s a constant no matter where we are, just a bit more memorable and inconvenient while traveling. So, I get through the blur of our taxi ride through the mountains of Roatan, quite perturbed that my head is screwing up my ability to relish all this new scenery. We find our cozy cabana which is the closest one to the beach (Yay ) and get ready to take in the bluest of blue ocean I have ever seen. Well, to make a long evening short, I had to take a nap to sleep off the pain and still felt discombobulated until the next morning. After that long nap I realized I had: 1. Forgotten my favorite swimsuit, and 2. Left my makeup in some unnamed spot , leaving me foggy headed , plain faced and clad in my second choice swimsuit- which after I put it on should have been my, “never purchased” suit. This trip was clearly not supposed to revolve around me and my desire to look great. Changing this focus gave way to 3 days of surprises and more fun than Lonely Planet could guide me through.
It Got Better
We ate barefoot at local restaurants, snorkeled a little, strolled markets, and my favorite, took a scooter for a whole day discovering the entire island of Roatan. We rode from isolated mountains to small neighborhoods with narrow streets. This place was amazing. The people were going about their daily lives , working, playing, keeping house. It was most definitely less developed world looking except I was impressed with how clean it was. Small humble homes scattered the coastline with dignity. Little girls played on porches braiding each others hair and reading magazines. Women did laundry, rocked babies and swam in the ocean with toddlers. It was very serene, very tranquil. The guys at the scooter rental advised us to stay out of the neighborhoods and keep to the beaches. He told us about various bars that served great drinks. Well we had already seen a lot of beach and I knew as soon as the guy said “ don’t go that way” my husband would no doubt go THAT way. It was great. At one point we were at the top of a mountain and could see the ocean on both sides. My husband pulls out 2 local brews that he has kept cold with frozen water bottles in his back pack. Much better than a watered down Margarita at a bar. Private view, with a local drink and my favorite person in the world.
You Feel what You Focus on
I had decidedly switched my focus to my husband. After all, the purpose of the trip was to celebrate us. What we both like to do best is go somewhere and embrace it. We both highly dislike going to a different culture and being bombarded with American food and music. My husband has the gift of fitting in really well in foreign places, esp Latin ones because he can speak Spanish. It was freeing to embrace him and his ways. While dating I thought every single thing he did was magnificent. When we traveled, I was star struck at how he walked to his own beat. It always ended up more fun and adventurous. Besides the fact that he could speak language he also has his first degree in Aquatic biology and a deep love for botany. So I had a personal tour guide both in the mountains and in the water. Over the last 10 years, work, kids and home life being our focus I haven’t had much time to goggle at his knowledge of the coral reef or relish in our love for new places.
Reminders of our Roots
As we sat on our balcony eating fresh avocado and sweet cream in corn tortillas flavored with fresh limes I remembered who WE were. This was us. We had taken a water taxi to a local supermarket to pick up some essential items and come back at sunset. No weird tour with strangers. Just us on a small boat coming back with groceries. Bliss. I watched my husband’s blue eyes sparkle as he took in the ocean. As he described the wind movement on the water and patterns it made I thought back to a time we were in Africa, just engaged, at a local supermarket. We were sitting on the steps waiting for a ride, drinking a soda. I will always remember seeing my husbands eyes sparkle as he went on about Zimbabwe agriculture. He was highly excited to be where he was. He saw things in this new place I could not see. I felt uncomfortable, hot, and a little scared. He was invigorated with a new place. I tried to embrace his attitude. In Africa it was much more difficult for me, but I remember trying desperately because I saw the value in his attitude and I wanted him to be glad I was his future partner for life, not let down. Back to this trip- On the balcony, I realized how easy it was to embrace this attitude, it was the Carribean for goodness sake. I was overcome with joy that right then we were both totally happy to be together in this beautiful place, and we lacked for nothing. Truly a gift. The gift of who we STILL are.
A Bad Start
“Oow ” I blurt out, as tears seep out uncontrollably. We were in the very beginning seconds of our Carribean get away/ 10 year anniversary trip , and I have whacked my head while not quite ducking into our taxi. Ugh, gosh that really hurt I stammer as I try to will the fog out of my head. My husband squeezes my hand and looks at me pitifully. You see the head whacking thing is a constant in our travels. To be honest it’s a constant no matter where we are, just a bit more memorable and inconvenient while traveling. So, I get through the blur of our taxi ride through the mountains of Roatan, quite perturbed that my head is screwing up my ability to relish all this new scenery. We find our cozy cabana which is the closest one to the beach (Yay ) and get ready to take in the bluest of blue ocean I have ever seen. Well, to make a long evening short, I had to take a nap to sleep off the pain and still felt discombobulated until the next morning. After that long nap I realized I had: 1. Forgotten my favorite swimsuit, and 2. Left my makeup in some unnamed spot , leaving me foggy headed , plain faced and clad in my second choice swimsuit- which after I put it on should have been my, “never purchased” suit. This trip was clearly not supposed to revolve around me and my desire to look great. Changing this focus gave way to 3 days of surprises and more fun than Lonely Planet could guide me through.
It Got Better
We ate barefoot at local restaurants, snorkeled a little, strolled markets, and my favorite, took a scooter for a whole day discovering the entire island of Roatan. We rode from isolated mountains to small neighborhoods with narrow streets. This place was amazing. The people were going about their daily lives , working, playing, keeping house. It was most definitely less developed world looking except I was impressed with how clean it was. Small humble homes scattered the coastline with dignity. Little girls played on porches braiding each others hair and reading magazines. Women did laundry, rocked babies and swam in the ocean with toddlers. It was very serene, very tranquil. The guys at the scooter rental advised us to stay out of the neighborhoods and keep to the beaches. He told us about various bars that served great drinks. Well we had already seen a lot of beach and I knew as soon as the guy said “ don’t go that way” my husband would no doubt go THAT way. It was great. At one point we were at the top of a mountain and could see the ocean on both sides. My husband pulls out 2 local brews that he has kept cold with frozen water bottles in his back pack. Much better than a watered down Margarita at a bar. Private view, with a local drink and my favorite person in the world.
You Feel what You Focus on
I had decidedly switched my focus to my husband. After all, the purpose of the trip was to celebrate us. What we both like to do best is go somewhere and embrace it. We both highly dislike going to a different culture and being bombarded with American food and music. My husband has the gift of fitting in really well in foreign places, esp Latin ones because he can speak Spanish. It was freeing to embrace him and his ways. While dating I thought every single thing he did was magnificent. When we traveled, I was star struck at how he walked to his own beat. It always ended up more fun and adventurous. Besides the fact that he could speak language he also has his first degree in Aquatic biology and a deep love for botany. So I had a personal tour guide both in the mountains and in the water. Over the last 10 years, work, kids and home life being our focus I haven’t had much time to goggle at his knowledge of the coral reef or relish in our love for new places.
Reminders of our Roots
As we sat on our balcony eating fresh avocado and sweet cream in corn tortillas flavored with fresh limes I remembered who WE were. This was us. We had taken a water taxi to a local supermarket to pick up some essential items and come back at sunset. No weird tour with strangers. Just us on a small boat coming back with groceries. Bliss. I watched my husband’s blue eyes sparkle as he took in the ocean. As he described the wind movement on the water and patterns it made I thought back to a time we were in Africa, just engaged, at a local supermarket. We were sitting on the steps waiting for a ride, drinking a soda. I will always remember seeing my husbands eyes sparkle as he went on about Zimbabwe agriculture. He was highly excited to be where he was. He saw things in this new place I could not see. I felt uncomfortable, hot, and a little scared. He was invigorated with a new place. I tried to embrace his attitude. In Africa it was much more difficult for me, but I remember trying desperately because I saw the value in his attitude and I wanted him to be glad I was his future partner for life, not let down. Back to this trip- On the balcony, I realized how easy it was to embrace this attitude, it was the Carribean for goodness sake. I was overcome with joy that right then we were both totally happy to be together in this beautiful place, and we lacked for nothing. Truly a gift. The gift of who we STILL are.
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